Deployment - 2 Weeks Down

We are now down two weeks into this deployment. I find that everyday brings something new. Matt pulled into their first port, and I am so excited for him. I'm so happy that he gets to see the world and travel, what other time would he have to have that opportunity? We talk through email, but he had mentioned he was going to try to call. I'm sure like most military wives when they hear this news, a flood of emotions came over me. First of all, I was thrilled at the thought of just hearing his voice again. When we first started dating, we took a trip to Myrtle Beach, SC and we made a Build-A-Bear together, dressed in a little sailor's outfit. Matt had recorded his voice and we put it in the paw of the bear. So still to this day I squeeze the paw to hear Matt saying "I love you, baby" Until I found out he was going to call, that was the only thing I had to hear his voice since he left. While I was seating on the edge of my seat waiting to get his phone call, I was worried I was going to be disappointed if he wasn't able to, or if I happened to miss the call. He called me around 8:30 in the morning and we talked for about 5 minutes. The connection wasn't the greatest, but just hearing his voice was worth it. He had said he was going to try to call later, and I had mentioned I had to go into work so to try to call before I had to be there. I didn't get another one, but I wasn't too upset. I already got to hear from him just a little bit. Come to find out after my shift that evening I saw I had missed not one, but TWO phone calls. I was devastated. I couldn't believe that I could have talked to him, perhaps a real conversation this time, and I missed it. It put me in the worse mood for the rest of the day, and the next. I definitely had my grumpy pants on. Then I realized, this is probably not the last time this is going to happen during this deployment. So while it will make me upset, I can't let it drag me down and make me feel even worse. Since then we have had a chance to talk numerous times which always brightens my day and makes me feel better, but I just hope next time he tries to call I can actually answer this time! ;) I am still looking for a book for military wives and surviving deployment. Do you happen to recommend one?

 The Build-A-Bear we made together. His name is Mateo, and he kind of reminds me of Matt :)

I really need to start working out and I feel gross not doing anything for awhile. I want to join a gym but I can never find time to go. I bought Zumba for the Wii to do at home, so I think I might pop that in and see how that goes. I'll keep you posted on that one. I have started reading again, and I am reading "Water For Elephants" - it's already a wonderful book and I am only on the 3rd chapter. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. I have been cooking and baking (whenever I can!) and I made an A-MAZ-ING pasta tonight! Pasta and Italian are my favorite foods, so I am always making pasta - at least once a week. This is a recipe I came up with tonight and I wanted to share it with you! I am very proud of this one because I made it up with the things I had in my pantry and fridge and it turned out AWESOME!

Pasta with Spinach and Roasted Red Peppers

Serves 2-4 people, I usually eat it for a few days just by myself
Time - a little over an hour

2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 an onion, FINELY GRATED
4 large gloves of garlic, FINELY GRATED (I LOVE garlic, but if you aren't obsessed with it like I am then you don't have to use as much)
1 large roasted red pepper, finely chopped (either from a jar or roasting your own)
2 1/2 cups spinach, chopped (I use the spinach in the bag, it may look like alot but it shrinks down)
1 14.5 oz can of petite diced tomatoes
1 14.5 oz can of tomato sauce
1 1/2 tbsp italian seasoning
pinch of red pepper flakes (depending on how spicy you like your sauce)
2 tsp granulated sugar, or to taste
salt and pepper, to taste
1/2 pound of your favorite pasta (I use whole wheat fettuccine for this recipe)

Heat up olive oil in a large skillet. Add grated onion and saute until soft and slightly brown. Add grated garlic and cook until fragrant, about a minute. Add roasted red pepper and stir to coat with olive oil. Cook for a minute or two. Add chopped spinach and stir to coat until wilted. Combine tomatoes and sauce, italian seasoning, red pepper flakes, sugar, and salt and pepper. Cover and allow to simmer for up to an hour, stirring occasionally. In the last 15 minutes, bring salted water to a boil in a separate pot and cook pasta according to directions, but do not overcook! (It's better if you undercook by a minute actually since it will continue to cook a bit in the sauce) Add cooked pasta to the sauce and let simmer for another two minutes. Serve with garlic bread or a nice green salad!

Not the best photo, I will take another one tomorrow when I heat it up for dinner!

That's it, I hope you enjoy! If you decide to share, please mention my blog! Thanks!

Until next time, dolls!

- L

Deployment - One Week Down...

I know, I know. I've been totally slacking on the whole blogging thing. Half of it has been that I have been trying to stay as busy as I can, the other half of it is that I haven't had any motivation. However I made a goal to document this deployment and all the feelings that I have about it - both good and bad. So I am not going to give up on this goal. What a great tool to learn from, looking back on feelings and thoughts and reflecting on those in the future?

The first weekend with Matt away was really hard. I had my best friend Natalie come up to stay with me for the weekend, and we both went up to see my family and spend time with them. We all watched the Ravens game together because - HELLO, we are from MD! That's our team! Even though they lost it was a great game and we all had an amazing time together. We also helped move some stuff into my parents' new house, which I am totally in love with (and truthfully a little jealous of!) That completely took myself out of the situation and made me focus on things other than the current events. While I am so happy I had the time with my great friends and family, coming back to reality was even harder. Natalie left, and I started back to work - but coming home to an empty house that first night was a reality check. Which is so weird, because I have done this before - he has gone on underways and I have been alone. However this time it was different. Like I said in the last post, it seems like the time that he is going to be gone is just looming over my head. I know I can't focus on that and focus on events and things that are going to make time fly, but it's something I have to learn how to deal with. I am always the type of person to try to find the positive in everything, and I am determined to do the same thing with this deployment. I really want to kick it's ass.

some of us together for the Ravens game - hey we still bleed purple no matter what! 

I have been back to work and I am loving getting back into a routine. It really helps keep me on track and focused. I am a little OCD anyways, and I have a schedule specifically for each day. It's almost like it's "Groundhog Day" every morning before work. I wake up, take my shower and do my hair and makeup, then I take Kit for her daily walk. Come in and eat breakfast and drink my hot chocolate. Check the necessary things - Facebook, email, Navy Federal, Perez Hiton. You know what - that's how I like it! And I don't care! Although now I am struggling with trying to find time for work, friends, errands and then time to relax by myself. It seems like there is only so much I can do in the 7 days of the week. I know I will get around to all of it, but at the end of the week it seems like I still have so much to do. I guess figuring it out all comes with time. Kit is having a hard time too. She has been mopping around here and crying with her toys in the mouth, and kind of collecting them to wherever I happen to be at the time. In the middle of the night I wake up to at least 10 toys under the blankets, by my head on my pillow, by my side. I think she might be having some kind of separation issues, because she did this a few months ago after a heat. I thought it was a false pregnancy, but the last time it happened right after Matt left too. Hopefully she start to feel better soon, seeing her like this breaks my heart. Do you happen to have a pet and if so, did they ever do this? What did you do to make your pet more comfortable?

 Kit and her pal Emmy during the Ravens game! 

Also, I sent my first cake package today! It was a care package for both his birthday and Valentine's Day, so he is getting alot of goodies! Cards, candies, snacks, books, movies, games! Putting that stuff together is fun, I enjoying collecting things that he loves. Having that little piece of home with him makes me feel even closer to him so far away. Overall, I have started to feel a little better about this deployment as time has gone on. Sure, I am sad and I get upset over the littlest things - for example, I asked a lady at Barnes and Noble for a book for military wives and deployment and I had to fight tears as I was speaking the words. That will all get easier in time. I miss him so much and I love him more and more each day, and we get a chance to email on average once a day and we tell each other that all the time. Seeing his email in my inbox just makes every worry disappear. He is the greatest husband in the world and I thank my lucky stars for him.

Until next time, world! Goodnight! <3

First Deployment - Day 1

I spent the last night with my husband before he deployed watching movies, cuddling on the couch, preparing and enjoying a homemade dinner (I told him to pick anything he wanted - and he picked ribs! he loves to grill so he ended up making an amazing dinner!), and falling asleep on his chest, listening to his heart beating. I will cherish those moments for the next six months. 4 am came way too quickly. I wanted to rewind time to the night before and press repeat over and over and over again. Saying goodbye this morning was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We got there 15 minutes before he had to be on the ship. We held and kissed each other for awhile, told each other that everything was going to be fine and we could do this. He gathered up his things and as he and I gave our final kisses and turned to walk in separate directions I felt my heart being ripped from my chest. I got in my car and just cried, let it all go. It's the first time I have really let myself be upset and sad, I guess because I knew it was truly here. Not just a possibility of things to come. This. Was. Actually. Happening. I decided not to watch the ship pull away, or go on the ship with him like some other military spouses did. I felt like that would just have made things worse, and going on that ship with him and walking off without him would have been torture. I cried all the way home. I cried when I crawled back into bed. Then Kit came up and did something she always does when I cry - she came up and licked my tears away. I know, it sounds so gross, and maybe she is doing it just to get a taste of the salt. But for some reason it makes me feel better, almost like she knows how upset I am and how she is trying to tell me it will be okay. As I cuddled with her and the build-a-bear Matt and I made together almost three years ago, I felt suddenly calm. Like it hit me that everything really will be okay. 6 months just feels like a cloud looming over me, and it's hard to swallow that we'll be apart for that long. However in that moment I felt like I really could do this. Each day it will get easier, and as soon as I talk to Matt and hear that he is doing okay the sting of the situation will soon start to hurt less and less. Sure, I am still going to cry and sure I am still going to be sad - but maybe as time goes on it will get easier and easier. I have some amazing friends who's husbands are on this ship and I know together we can get through this. I am thankful for all of the kind words I have received this morning, it makes a world of difference.

Today my best friend is coming from NC. It's been almost 2 years since we've seen each other, and I am so happy that she is coming today to lessen the blow of this deployment. Natalie has been my best friend since kindergarten, and she is the type of friend that I can really let my guard down and cry and tell her how scared I am and she will be there to hear me out. No matter what. I appreciate that kind of friendship more than ever. We are going to see my family this weekend, so I have alot of things to look forward to. I just hope these moments keep on coming.

God Bless all the sailors who went out to sea today, keep them safe and bring them home to us soon. And God Bless the families who are supporting them from ashore. We can do this, ladies! <3

all work and no play?

I titled my blog this because I don't think the statement is 100% true all the time. You can have it all if you really desire. I spend alot of time at work, and I can honestly say that I am one of those people who loves everything about their job. I love the people I work with and that I work for, they are some of the coolest and nicest people I have ever met. They have been with me through some pretty rough times this past year, and I am thankful I have this space to go to when Matt leaves for deployment. I love the actual work that I do, getting to use my hands and working with amazing products. I love learning about this industry and I get to learn new things all the time. Forming the relationships with people and connecting with them is something that makes it the icing on the cake for me though. I have clients who come see me every 6 weeks and we talk about what's going on in their lives and mine. So many are military wives too so I feel like I can talk to them about the lifestyle that many people don't really understand. I was talking to some guests today about our first deployment, and they were giving me advice on care packages, homecoming, etc. That's not something I can easily talk about without someone knowing what it is like to go through it. At the end of the day, when I come home, yes I might be tired. Yes some situations might be more trying than others, but I come home happy. I think that's what is really important.

Now that I am home, I plan on snuggling with Kit in my pj's. It's the simple things in life that matter. Matt has duty so Kit and I usually lay in our king size bed together. I sleep on my side, Kit sleeps on Matt's. She's so spoiled it's ridiculous but I love her to pieces! Before we hit the hay, I got awarded the Stylish Blogger Award from Shannon at Bit of Blue Sky! You can check her out here http://bitofblueskyy.blogspot.com/ She is one of the sweetest girls I know and she is an AMAZING blogger! I got my inspiration to write my blog from reading hers :) So now I have to share 7 things about myself!

1. I am afraid of theme park mascots (like Mickey Mouse. yeah I'm that girl)
2. I love old movies, like Meet Me in St Louis
3. I LOVE ice cream! My favorite of all time is chocolate soft serve with rainbow sprinkles!
4. I like to eat french fries with my mexican food.
5. Sleep is good!
6. Victoria's Secret is one of my favorite stores
7. The kitchen is probably my favorite room in our house.


I am supposed to award 10 bloggers with this award, but to be honest with you I don't know 10 bloggers yet! So if you have a blog let me know! haha Goodnight!

Why Banana Pancakes?

First of all, I want to start off by thanking you for reading my blog. I am completely new to the blogging world and to have my first one is very exciting for me. I started this blog for a few reasons. For one, my husband is leaving for deployment in a very short amount of time. This is our first deployment, and I am feeling a ton of emotions. Saddness, anger, frustration - and pride. I am so proud of my husband and the duty he is serving for our country. I knew what I was signing up for when we met, this deployment wasn't a surprise. However now that it's here, I can't believe it. So I decided to start writing a blog to help me deal with the common emotions and obstacles of a deployment. I am so happy to call myself a military spouse, and I take the good with the bad. Hopefully some other military wives will read this and give me some advice. It's always appreciated! Also, I am a very creative person by nature, so maybe this will give me an outlet to share my creativity.

A little background about me, it case you don't already know! Besides being married and a housewife, I am also a hairstylist at a salon and spa. I have been doing hair for almost 4 years now, and I love my job. I have the gift of making people feel and look beautiful, and that is something that I am so proud of. I wasn't planning on being a hairstylist, I actually wanted to go to art school for fashion design, and I was going to work my way through as a hairstylist. I started cosmetology school and I soon fell in love with the industry! It's a way for me to be creative, while making people feel confident and happy. That's all I could ever ask for. We don't have any kids yet (I can't wait to be a mom, when the right time comes!), but we have a gorgeous little pup! A maltese named Kit. I'm sure I will be talking about her alot! She is our pride and joy. I have a great family and group of friends who always support me. I am very blessed.

Now the title of this blog is "Why Banana Pancakes?" Well I have a few reasons. For one, Banana Pancakes is a song by Jack Johnson, and the lyrics really call to me about my husband and I. Basically, to me, it's saying we could stay in all day and not worry about the world around us, and I think about that with my husband all the time. I would love to just stay with him, forget about the world, and just have it be the two of us. And it could be raining cats and dogs, both literally or not, but that doesn't matter because we have each other. Unfortunately with the Navy, that's kind of impossible right now, but it doesn't matter because I have him. Yes, his schedule sucks and yes he misses out on major holidays sometimes, but I would rather deal with all that and have him as my husband then not have him at all. And I think this song really supports that. Who knows, maybe that's not what the song is about at ALL and I am totally out of left field right now. But isn't that what music is all about? Identifying with lyrics and melodies that pertain to your life and your emotions? Music has always been a major part of my life, and this song has always touched my heart. One thing to know about me as well - I LOVE TO COOK AND BAKE! Food is a passion of mine and I am always in the kitchen trying new recipes or making up something as I go along. Hence banana pancakes! I will try to share some of my favorite recipes as I write this blog.

Sorry it was such a long one. Stay tuned, this will be interesting! :)