Deployment - One Week Down...

I know, I know. I've been totally slacking on the whole blogging thing. Half of it has been that I have been trying to stay as busy as I can, the other half of it is that I haven't had any motivation. However I made a goal to document this deployment and all the feelings that I have about it - both good and bad. So I am not going to give up on this goal. What a great tool to learn from, looking back on feelings and thoughts and reflecting on those in the future?

The first weekend with Matt away was really hard. I had my best friend Natalie come up to stay with me for the weekend, and we both went up to see my family and spend time with them. We all watched the Ravens game together because - HELLO, we are from MD! That's our team! Even though they lost it was a great game and we all had an amazing time together. We also helped move some stuff into my parents' new house, which I am totally in love with (and truthfully a little jealous of!) That completely took myself out of the situation and made me focus on things other than the current events. While I am so happy I had the time with my great friends and family, coming back to reality was even harder. Natalie left, and I started back to work - but coming home to an empty house that first night was a reality check. Which is so weird, because I have done this before - he has gone on underways and I have been alone. However this time it was different. Like I said in the last post, it seems like the time that he is going to be gone is just looming over my head. I know I can't focus on that and focus on events and things that are going to make time fly, but it's something I have to learn how to deal with. I am always the type of person to try to find the positive in everything, and I am determined to do the same thing with this deployment. I really want to kick it's ass.

some of us together for the Ravens game - hey we still bleed purple no matter what! 

I have been back to work and I am loving getting back into a routine. It really helps keep me on track and focused. I am a little OCD anyways, and I have a schedule specifically for each day. It's almost like it's "Groundhog Day" every morning before work. I wake up, take my shower and do my hair and makeup, then I take Kit for her daily walk. Come in and eat breakfast and drink my hot chocolate. Check the necessary things - Facebook, email, Navy Federal, Perez Hiton. You know what - that's how I like it! And I don't care! Although now I am struggling with trying to find time for work, friends, errands and then time to relax by myself. It seems like there is only so much I can do in the 7 days of the week. I know I will get around to all of it, but at the end of the week it seems like I still have so much to do. I guess figuring it out all comes with time. Kit is having a hard time too. She has been mopping around here and crying with her toys in the mouth, and kind of collecting them to wherever I happen to be at the time. In the middle of the night I wake up to at least 10 toys under the blankets, by my head on my pillow, by my side. I think she might be having some kind of separation issues, because she did this a few months ago after a heat. I thought it was a false pregnancy, but the last time it happened right after Matt left too. Hopefully she start to feel better soon, seeing her like this breaks my heart. Do you happen to have a pet and if so, did they ever do this? What did you do to make your pet more comfortable?

 Kit and her pal Emmy during the Ravens game! 

Also, I sent my first cake package today! It was a care package for both his birthday and Valentine's Day, so he is getting alot of goodies! Cards, candies, snacks, books, movies, games! Putting that stuff together is fun, I enjoying collecting things that he loves. Having that little piece of home with him makes me feel even closer to him so far away. Overall, I have started to feel a little better about this deployment as time has gone on. Sure, I am sad and I get upset over the littlest things - for example, I asked a lady at Barnes and Noble for a book for military wives and deployment and I had to fight tears as I was speaking the words. That will all get easier in time. I miss him so much and I love him more and more each day, and we get a chance to email on average once a day and we tell each other that all the time. Seeing his email in my inbox just makes every worry disappear. He is the greatest husband in the world and I thank my lucky stars for him.

Until next time, world! Goodnight! <3